The world will deconstruct while your eyes are closed, in that split second when you’re not looking. Stars will fall and galaxies will explode, and people will vanish into thin air like trailing puffs of cigarette smoke under a neon light. You’ll be left alone with stardust and ash and a feeling that you once knew the meaning of life, but you forgot to remind yourself to remember.
Fourteen years, three months, and twenty-six days. That’s nothing, after everything you’ve been through, but they were still the hardest. It was hard to think with stardust in your hair and ash in your lungs and the smell of smoke still lingering in the air, and the lights and the sounds and feel of grime on the walls and grime on your skin. It was hard.
Please, don’t blink.
See, it’ll happen again. You’ll rebuild the world, making clockwork people in a clockwork town with no idea they don’t exist, because it’s no fun of they don’t think it’s real, is it? You’ll fashion universes with a twist of your hand and a cancerous cough, breathing deadly life into a world that won’t ever see the sun. This is it. Your autobiography, your last wish, your pièce de résistance, and what a shame. No one will ever know.
This is incredible! It's so... special! I can see in my mind what you've described, as in a very vivid dream. I can imagine how it would smell, taste and sound! To be able to write down such things requires a lot of talent! The subject is also very deep, philosophical almost. Love it
My first thought was of the weeping angels when I started to read your piece! Before I read the description, I just kept thinking, "Don't blink. Don't even blink. blink and you're dead" haha. I like this a lot.
As always, your stories are great. This reminds me of a combination of the Doctor Who episodes with weeping angels and the episodes in the library (where he met River), because of the girl that was really a computer creating realities. Either way, it was a good read. Lots of really awesome imagery in such a short story.
Wow. This is great writing; so descriptive and imaginative. I love the way the piece flows together, like it's a single thought that has just escaped. I loved the Dr. Who reference (kinda why I clicked on it!), and I think you've used it really well and made it into your own, especially with the 'Please, don't blink'. It adds a human, personal touch to it that I find quite endearing, and creepy at the same time. Very well done!
No problems! I think you definitely achieved it, the 'please' bit made it sound a little bit like a child. Like there were two separate voices. To improve it, you might want to think about changing it into dialogue, or putting it as a tangent in a longer piece. I loved it